I have always wanted to pick wine grapes. In my dreams, I was in Burgundy at a beautiful country chateau with gleeming vineyards sprawling in every direction. I spoke French, of course. We picked massive bunches of plump pinot noir, sneaking a few into our mouths every few feet as we made our way down the vines. Two […]
I'm not ready for scarves and crockpots. I didn't get the memo that summer was over. Just yesterday I was flopping around in the sea like a manatee, coated in Coppertone with the Mediterraean sun beating down on my face. Well, not YESTERDAY, but fairly recently. And, dammit, I wasn't done yet. I can't remember the […]
In June, I got stuck in a Texas supermarket. On the condiment aisle, to be exact. My feet were glued to the floor, eyes fixed on the salsa wall. My eyes grew large and glassy at the sight of endless salsa and other hot saucery consuming almost the entire length of the supermarket aisle. Jars of every […]
A couple days ago I awoke to an uncontrollable craving. It was a craving so strong that my to do list had suddenly been wiped clean and replaced with only one task: Satiate My Hunger Pang. A hankering had moved into my subconscious, kicked his feet up on the couch and started hogging the television. What else was I do to […]
